A long time ago, I was told what was likely an apocryphal story about a 3rd year law student who was waiting in line at McDonalds. The small child behind them started talking to them and they ended up in a friendly conversation with the child. The father of the child then started talking to the law student and asked if they were a student at the university nearby. This led the law student to tell the child’s father that they were a soon to be graduating law student, but that they weren’t sure what they were going to do since they had no offers as of yet. It turned out the father was a federal judge, and he looked at the law student and offered them a clerkship, right there in line at McDonalds. There were more details to the story, but whether the story was true or not, the point is that you really never know where you will meet the person who will hire you; it could be at McDonalds. Be open to the possibilities.
I always feel slightly smarmy doing it, but every time I meet someone new, I work into the conversation some iteration of ‘I am a lawyer looking for work’. It’s the tentative probing to see if the person takes the bait and might give you a worthwhile contact or even offer up a job. But to continually be exposed to new people you have to go out and search for them. I show up at more meetings and CLEs of things I have no interest in, just to try to drum up a conversation or two with the other attendees and drop the statement that I am looking for work.
So last week I showed up to a job fair organized by my current city. I knew it was likely going to be a futile endeavor, but I had nothing else planned for the day; and… well… you never know who is going to be there. The advertisement for the job fair claimed that the companies showing up were hiring “at all levels”. So, I figured I would put that to the test and see what the ‘at all levels’ really entailed. I printed off a couple dozen copies of my resume, put on a nice suit and headed out to the job fair. Turns out ‘all levels’ entailed low level sales and manual day laborers.
The job fair was held in the concourse of a sports arena. You know that ring of cement walkway under the seats in a baseball stadium where you go to buy your hotdogs? Yeah. It was there. I seriously wonder who decided it was a good idea to have an event where many people were going to be showing up wearing suits, effectively outside in near 90 degree weather. Mind you, people wearing suits were definitely in the minority. The outfits ran the gamut down to a tank top and purple hot pants (nothing but the best for interviewing I guess). The vast majority of the job fair was depressing at the best, but there were a few memorable moments.
Probably the strangest thing about the job fair was: without exception when I spoke to the HR reps who were there, they might have a list of jobs they were hiring for, but they would all say “Everything we’re looking for is listed online, and you have to apply online for any of these positions.” So everyone showed up, to be told to go home and apply online. What exactly was the point of the job fair then? No one got hired at the fair… no one was taking applications at the fair. The best you could do was to hand your resume to someone with the hope that they might call you back later. But you showed up in person, only to be told to go apply online. It was ridiculous.
As it happened a few of the local universities were there. I stopped by the table for one and asked the HR admin about open legal positions. There had nothing, as expected since I had already looked online at their career page previously, but then I thoroughly confused them when I asked if their tech-transfer office had any openings. Blank stare, “tech transfer?” they seemed utterly confused. I tried again… Technology capitalization office…. same confused reaction… I rattled off two or three other possible names for the office and finally just explained what they did. “The office that sells and licenses the research and discoveries made by your faculty’s research.” I kid you not, they looked at me and said “I don’t think we do that.” Right. Because research never leads anywhere… I gave up and wandered off.
And wandered right over to the table run by the HR dept of the university from (non)-Interview #22. They had a single sheet of paper on an otherwise empty table, printed off from their own website listing the positions they were hiring for (that you had to go home and apply online for.. of course). But I had a quick thought and asked the HR manager “Who would I talk to at your university to find out about being hired as an adjunct?” They said I would have to contact the departments directly because each department handled such things internally. But then, they helpfully added “But we don’t pay our adjuncts.” Now it was my turn to pause and stare. I had to make sure I understood that correctly. “I’m sorry, you don’t pay them anything?” The HR drone seemed slightly uncomfortable because there were at least a half dozen people milling around the table who heard. “Correct. I think we might be one of the only universities that doesn’t.” I put the only copy of the job listing paper down onto their completely empty table and said,”So I guess you aren’t hiring adjuncts.” She seemed a little flustered and said “well, we do but…” and I cut her off and laughed “Not if you aren’t paying them you’re not.” And I ambled off to another table.
I spoke to someone from a hospital HR dept who had no open positions but wanted a business card from me to prove that there was an attorney at the job fair looking for work. (this was truly the high point for the morning).
I spoke to someone from a veterans affairs office who said I should contact him for a potential networking opportunity but wouldn’t give me his business card (from a stack he was holding in his hand) because I wasn’t a veteran. I’m not sure what game was going on with him… it was weird; he was weird. I made the vague promise to get in contact and wandered off into the crowd wondering ‘what the hell…’
I think of the 100+ employer reps who had tables, only 2 showed any interest and took my resume.
Generally the story was always the same… Ooo we’ve never seen an attorney at one of these things. And we have no openings regardless. And even if we did, you’d have to go online and apply there and hope we get back to you. So thanks for showing up in person to be told to go look online, and damn I’ve never seen a professional show up to a job fair.
My ego can literally sink no lower.