Happy Hour

Throughout law school and continuing into your professional career, you will be invited to random “Happy Hour’ events. The ones in law school usually are just a way for social (to heavy) drinkers to find one another and if you get anything for free, it will usually only be one free well drink. Professional Happy Hours are a bit more rangy. If it is just a professional organization get together, it is likely a networking event and nothing is free. But every once in awhile, you get to go to one sponsored by someone… And those can be fantastic.

So I went to a sponsored Happy Hour recently; again in pursuit of my quest to network across every individual in the legal field within a 50 mile radius of me. Twas glorious. The sponsor of this wonderful free event put a wristband on each person and we were allowed full range of anything the bar had. Anything. There were a few people constantly moving through crowd asking if we wanted more to drink, and there was a never-ending table of food.

Seeing as I drove alone and was trying to professionally smooze, I only had one drink, which was half empty most of the night so it appeared I was actually drinking without actually drinking. I appreciated the completely open bar, but sadly really could not use it to its full advantage.  The event was sponsored by a headhunting company. You might see the utility of getting a lot of lawyers drunk to find out office gossip and see who is leaving and moving where, and who might be dissatisfied and want to be plied with potential opportunities.

I had quite a few conversations wherein I dropped the obvious “looking for work” but had relatively few takers. My venial knowledge of sports was quickly surpassed in several conversations I ended up in when people starting asking about in depth statistics questions. I did end up talking to a 1L (just 2 months in) as the invitation had been extended to a select group of the local law schools. They introduced themselves and mentioned they were 2 months in, and I told them my advice was “Get out now.” I passed on a good 10-15 min. of things that might help them, but I pretty much said that they didn’t have credentials that hit near the mark of anyone in the room and nowhere near mine, and look where I am. Harsh reality, but true. They really didn’t appreciate the sentiment, as many people who don’t hear what they want, I am sure they discounted what I told them and thought I was an outlier. I felt the plight of Cassandra as I watched them wander off.

I had a wonderful conversation with a family law attorney who happened to be attending as a +1 of one of the invited attorneys. They were absolutely delightful to talk to, and unusually social and intelligent (a surprisingly absent talent among many in the legal field as I have found out). Our conversation however was cut short as the invited attorney walked over, relatively drunk, and decided the drunker louder part of their brain needed to be expressed to us both.

At some point I was cornered by an uncomfortably close-talking paralegal looking for work, who was really quite … uhm, well… vapid. Nice enough person, but damn there was not a great deal going on upstairs.

I extricated myself to a table of attorneys and had possibly the most hilarious conversation that I wasn’t allowed to laugh at. There was a blonde woman attorney on the other side of the table. And she was at least past the halfway mark to drunk. She was the absolute walking embodiment of the Fox News talking points. And not just one, oh no. I am not sure how it started. But my attention was inexorably drawn when she started ranting about Obama, and how she personally didn’t think he was born here. Then it went to Obamacare and how it was bankrupting the US. Then onto immigration. And then how black people were ruining the country.

This continued for probably 20-ish minutes. I maintained a judicious and bemused detachment to the whole affair. You never know who you are talking to and who their friends are… in the legal realm it is best not to make enemies out of hand. Although I did at one point add some point to the conversation about looking for work. She told me I was quite handsome and said I had lots of strong points so she was sure I would find work. I told her I personally felt one of my strongest points in interviews has been a good poker face, because I have had to deal with some absolutely crazy people and you have to make sure not to show any reaction. Inside I was quaking with laughter — outside I was chatting amicably with a crazy person.

Her ranting finally reached a lull in which I asked where she was working. My old prejudice was played out right before my eyes as she told me she was a solo. Solos are usually solo for a reason… be it they are crazy, or a curmudgeon, or maybe just don’t know any better. I still couldn’t say anything though, because you never know who they are friends with. It was at this point that a waitress showed up and wanted to know if she could remove the huge plate of food as the event was starting to wind down. The crazy solo looked around, and said no. Then as soon as the waitress left she started wrapping the food up in napkins and stuffing it in her purse. She looked over at me and said “well if no one is going to eat it, I’ll take it home…. for .. my dog.” The hesitation made my bemusement at her crazy turn a bit to pity.

The party had wound down. I talked to the headhunter, they wanted me to call and chat. We’ll see where it goes, but I am never horribly hopeful regarding headhunters.

minor update: Well, my opinion hasn’t changed significantly. This headhunter was by far the most civil and friendly of the bunch that I’ve talked to, so that’s a plus to their firm. Unfortunately they also started off by saying that I was relatively worthless to them from a business sense and wouldn’t offer any representation. On the flip side, they offered some advice on my resume and dropped me the names of a few places which might be interested in me and even offered to contact one directly on my behalf (for free); so I count that as a net benefit.

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